Hurrah for losers!
http://www.cnn.com/2003/TECH/science/07/31/mates.big.small.reut/index.html

For some reason John is not masturbating until Friday, and notified the world of this on his web log. My response:

Subject: stay on target... stay on target...
so about holding off until friday- i've found that the harder you try the more you think about it, which then increases your urge to spank. focus on other things like work, hobbies (not masturbation), exercise, and try not to look at the women you pass on the street. eventually you'll become numb and monk-like. unconsciously keeping yourself busy is key.

shit, now i need to go squeeze one off.

Looking back on the last few posts I thought I would clear up any misconceptions for those of you trying to read between the lines: No, I'm not gay. ;)
However I do think gays and lesbians are regular people too. If you disagree, that's fine. You're entitled to your opinion, even if it is wrong. ;)

He's trying to legally ban gay marriage now. Not that I'm gay and I want to get married, but it really pisses me off to see such an ass-backwards and conservative bastard running the entire country.
Link is here.

Sun, July 27
Emilie had her belated birthday party last night and Tyler talked Mike and Emilie into making a beer bong. Mike and Clay had a fun time downing Michelob Ultra with it. Tyler is a fucking pro. He could down a whole beer in less than three seconds. Myself, posessing a dislike for any beer not dark enough to be mistaken for tar, beer bonged a gin and tonic. Damn I'm classy. ;)
We BBQed and Tyler and Jennifer baked cookies, while I made a tomato sauce and couscous. It was a damn fine. Fresh tomatoes, olive oil, garlic, italian seasoning and basil cooked on the stove. Much fun was had by all. Pictures are here.

The next morning Josh and I went on our weekly pilgrimate to the flea market. A couple weeks earlier I bought an antique 8mm film projector from the 50's. It was only 5 bucks and is in nice shape. I wasn't planning on buying anything, but then I saw it and thought it would make a good addition to my room. This time I found a sweet little typewriter from the 40's. Josh became my hero after talking the guy down to $25 from $40. I'm going to wire it up to use as the keyboard for my computer, which I personally think will be badass. The last thing I might get would be an old radio to put my computer in. I'm also restoring a couple of antique fans as well. Just some fun projects that I've been wanting to do for a while and never got around to. Yes I know I'm a dork. =)
Tyler said "You're such an old man Bryan, it's great."

Josh and I went to see Herman's Hermits the other day for free at the Boardwalk. Superb. Josh said he'd never heard Henry The 8th I Am. I called him a blasphemer of the golden oldies.

Sun, July 20th
Last night rocked. I went with Gail, Elisa, and some of their friends to the Dakota (my first time) and I danced (also my first time). By dancing I mean freestyle club dancing, which I never thought I could do. Gail and Elisa showed me how to get down like a white boy. Luckily I was nice and drunk so I was able to loosen up and not care that I looked like a Palsy victim. After a little while I went to go find Josh and Mike (his friend from Sonoma) who were at one of the other bars. We went back to the Dakota, and Josh found some attractive young ladies. He wanted my help approaching them, but I wasn't in a serious/sober enough mood to follow through. Instead I danced with him suggestively, convincing the ladies we were on a date, which thoroughly screwed up his "game". It was quite humorous.

Josh and I were dancing with Gail and friends when suddenly I felt a gentle cupping of my buttocks. I looked over at Josh and asked if he had just grabbed my ass, but he claimed to be innocent. I looked to my left and saw some guy slinking away into the crowd. I felt so used. :)

Josh and Mike left eventually but I stayed until closing at 2:00. Amazing! Bryan "it's 11:00 I need to sleep" Zimmer was out until the wee hours of the morning, dancing no less! I got my exercise for the month.

Oh, this was great too- I was wearing my Yoohoo tshirt (everyone loved it) and getting my white-boy groove on when Gail tells me that the guy next to her has the biggest crush on me. I had her tell him that I was flattered and took it as a great compliment, but that I was in a serious relationship with a wonderful woman. She told me later that when he asked about me he said "So tell me about your friend Yoohoo", which I think is now my nickname. Supposedly he also liked my dancing, which was a compliment because it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing.

So anyway, I got four hours of sleep and then went with Josh, Mike, Em, and Mike to the flea market. Luckily I wasn't hung over, but I was quiet dehyrdated and tired. Note to self: walking around in the hot sun after a long night of drinking is not fun.

I'm finally giving in. I'm setting up a weblog. I will not however give in to calling it the "b" word. I hate that word for some unknown reason. Yes, I know, I'm contributing to the gigabytes of worthless crap on the Internet. My justification is that some of my friends who I don't have the privilege of seeing on a regular basis (including my girlfriend) may find this useful for keeping tabs on just how pathetically boring my life is. This thing may actually become interesting when I'm on my trip to Europe, assuming I can find time to get to an Internet cafe between drunken tanning sessions on the Mediterranean coast. What's that? I'm bragging you say? Fuck you, I earned it. ;)